mkio (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mkio) wrote,@ 2008-06-13 02:22:00 |
|
Fruity pebble randomness
9 months into touring. 11 months of being homeless. Friends I don’t see regularly anymore ask me how it is, how I’m doing, and I have a really difficult time summarizing my life right now. It’s hard for me to keep a regularly updated journal of day-to-day reality, because life moves so quickly on the road. 4 lives in 1 day. So a usual day in the life consists of waking up at someone’s house after a small amount of sleep. Depending on how little sleep determines whether or not the daily jog/yoga commences….less than 4 hours usually means nix on the former. Then a shower. Then eating. Then into the ol’ van with a 5-8 hour drive to a club. We load-in, during which I get ready…warm up my voice, meander about to take in the aspect of the city we’re in that I can….and then ….. PLAY! Every show is different….small, large, in-between…crowds that move, crowds that stare, something to learn every time about yourself, about people. The songs take on new meaning every time for me. Sometimes I sing a song that isn’t necessarily about what I originally wrote it about…it’s about the present moment. The performance part of the tour is many entries in and of itself. Afterward, we meet so many interesting people. So many wonderful, caring, good-hearted people…it warms me just thinking about how many of them are out there. Then we fall asleep, usually at a kind friend’s house, and do it all over again. On the days off on the road, we attempt to rest, book more shows, do online orders, promote, and catch up with loved ones.
On the way, I’ve found joy in discovering different nuances in gas stations across the US. There’s always some type of snack (like boiled peanuts and sweet tea in the south…this is my latest addiction) or fun pen or toy to be discovered. The guys especially derive pleasure in scandalous bumper stickers. We seem to run into a plethora of these in the southwest. Not to mention the interesting locals and accents you discover in gas stations. We’ve been in Texas, my home state, for the past few days, so I find comfort in hearing the familiar Texan accent wafting across said gas stations…I’m home….but then again, I’ve found home is wherever I am. Being disconnected from worldly possessions, privacy, any sense of ownership, really makes you realize that. My private moments come when I have a moment to change before a show or warm up my voice in the van. Being an only child, this was a major adjustment for me, as I generally thrive off of my cave time. But then, again, I’ve found that home is wherever I am and that privacy and stillness can be found even in groups of people.
I woke up one day in North Dakota and had no idea where I was. I knew I was on the couch in a living room with the guys close by. But I couldn’t honestly remember what city I was in. And I was ok with this. I knew I was safe. And healthy. And happy….
I reach out and connect with people as often as I’m able to, in between shows, travel, and phone reception/wifi access. They tell me their stories of where they are in their lives. It always makes me so happy when I hear how well people are doing and on the flipside sad when I hear otherwise….
Tonight I am an insomniac at my parents’ house. There’s always a strange sense of anticipation when you’re days away from a break. Plus I hear Gordon in the other room playing the ukulele.
I’m quite content with life right now, as strange and chaotic, as unknown as each day is. I’ve found that the unknown is actually quite comfortable. There’s a constant in life, no matter how many rituals you may put in it, no matter how much you adhere to a schedule or attempt to control your day, and that is that no 2 days are alike. There will always be elements of chaos, elements of environment and people that sweep in and change everything. If you trust in this chaos, know that it will happen, you never really have to fear it.
I walked around in a park tonight. This was one of my all-time FAVORITE childhood activities…playing in parks. The night air in the summer is so amazing. You see stars at night here…something you can take for granted but never really see too much of in LA. I feel the warm summer breeze, the stings of mosquitoes, the familiar tug of fatigue at my head, and feel life fully.
There’s no real point to this entry…just wanted to share the random thoughts that swirl around.
~tash
9 months into touring. 11 months of being homeless. Friends I don’t see regularly anymore ask me how it is, how I’m doing, and I have a really difficult time summarizing my life right now. It’s hard for me to keep a regularly updated journal of day-to-day reality, because life moves so quickly on the road. 4 lives in 1 day. So a usual day in the life consists of waking up at someone’s house after a small amount of sleep. Depending on how little sleep determines whether or not the daily jog/yoga commences….less than 4 hours usually means nix on the former. Then a shower. Then eating. Then into the ol’ van with a 5-8 hour drive to a club. We load-in, during which I get ready…warm up my voice, meander about to take in the aspect of the city we’re in that I can….and then ….. PLAY! Every show is different….small, large, in-between…crowds that move, crowds that stare, something to learn every time about yourself, about people. The songs take on new meaning every time for me. Sometimes I sing a song that isn’t necessarily about what I originally wrote it about…it’s about the present moment. The performance part of the tour is many entries in and of itself. Afterward, we meet so many interesting people. So many wonderful, caring, good-hearted people…it warms me just thinking about how many of them are out there. Then we fall asleep, usually at a kind friend’s house, and do it all over again. On the days off on the road, we attempt to rest, book more shows, do online orders, promote, and catch up with loved ones.
On the way, I’ve found joy in discovering different nuances in gas stations across the US. There’s always some type of snack (like boiled peanuts and sweet tea in the south…this is my latest addiction) or fun pen or toy to be discovered. The guys especially derive pleasure in scandalous bumper stickers. We seem to run into a plethora of these in the southwest. Not to mention the interesting locals and accents you discover in gas stations. We’ve been in Texas, my home state, for the past few days, so I find comfort in hearing the familiar Texan accent wafting across said gas stations…I’m home….but then again, I’ve found home is wherever I am. Being disconnected from worldly possessions, privacy, any sense of ownership, really makes you realize that. My private moments come when I have a moment to change before a show or warm up my voice in the van. Being an only child, this was a major adjustment for me, as I generally thrive off of my cave time. But then, again, I’ve found that home is wherever I am and that privacy and stillness can be found even in groups of people.
I woke up one day in North Dakota and had no idea where I was. I knew I was on the couch in a living room with the guys close by. But I couldn’t honestly remember what city I was in. And I was ok with this. I knew I was safe. And healthy. And happy….
I reach out and connect with people as often as I’m able to, in between shows, travel, and phone reception/wifi access. They tell me their stories of where they are in their lives. It always makes me so happy when I hear how well people are doing and on the flipside sad when I hear otherwise….
Tonight I am an insomniac at my parents’ house. There’s always a strange sense of anticipation when you’re days away from a break. Plus I hear Gordon in the other room playing the ukulele.
I’m quite content with life right now, as strange and chaotic, as unknown as each day is. I’ve found that the unknown is actually quite comfortable. There’s a constant in life, no matter how many rituals you may put in it, no matter how much you adhere to a schedule or attempt to control your day, and that is that no 2 days are alike. There will always be elements of chaos, elements of environment and people that sweep in and change everything. If you trust in this chaos, know that it will happen, you never really have to fear it.
I walked around in a park tonight. This was one of my all-time FAVORITE childhood activities…playing in parks. The night air in the summer is so amazing. You see stars at night here…something you can take for granted but never really see too much of in LA. I feel the warm summer breeze, the stings of mosquitoes, the familiar tug of fatigue at my head, and feel life fully.
There’s no real point to this entry…just wanted to share the random thoughts that swirl around.
~tash
